Sometimes you question....

Of course when something bad happens to you there is always the "why me?" question. It is difficult not to ask yourself that question. John has brought this up before and brought it up again this morning. "It just seems so wrong that someone like me....never smoked a day in my life, eats pretty healthily and works out......should end up with cancer", as we see people walking down the streets sucking on a cigarette. It is a reasonable question and something that would bother me too.

Every week we have several doctor's appointments to go to at Kimmel Center where all oncologists practice or we are at Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center (hospital) to get his treatment. It is unfathomable in our minds that as we walk in and out of these places that we have to walk past people smoking right outside the door. They are either people in scrubs and white coats or people there visiting someone that has cancer. Now John and I have never been addicted to anything so we don't know how it feels to NEED something like a cigarette. But....we do know that after going through treatment and seeing other people suffering that we would do whatever we could to stop something that could cause us the same pain.

The topper on today's cake was walking out of the doctor's office at 6pm after platelet and 2 blood transfusions to see the oncology nurse that just flushed John's catheter hours before holding up the wall, cigarette in hand. She didn't see us there and when we said "Goodnight" to her she got a little flustered and said "oh you aren't supposed to see this". Oops!

It is hard to take the scolding she gives sometimes about making sure to take his temperature twice a day, after seeing her smoking. Just seems a little hypocritical. Oh well, we all make our own choices and maybe that is her way of coping with all the difficulties of the job.

On a good note.....John's tumor markers are undetectable. Hooray!!!!!